I live in PA and won full legal and physical custody of my son almost two years ago.
Bragging a little but also a reminder that it can be done. I spent almost a year in the local law library and here’s what I learned (also known as “things your lawyer will not tell you”). Most states have laws that define when a child can select which parent to live with. Here in PA the age is 11 and it was established by the state supreme court in 2002. For many states the age is 13. We have a lot of state-specific laws regarding parenting and money-lending services. More info here.
Anyway, once your kids reach this age, it is a fairly straightforward process of having your child state for the record that he or she prefers to live with you and why. There were other circumstances but that was the basic argument.
Know the laws in your state. Most lawyers prosper from the anti-father attitudes so they won’t be of much help.
You’ll have to dig this up yourself.